My bookworm
by nilawrites01
Summary: AU where Beca is a writer and Beca and Chloe are together and happy. But then something changes it all.
1. Here she hides

**I don't own pitch perfect. It is owned by whoever owns it!**

Chloe's POV

She was still with her nose stuck in a book. I can't say it wasn't like her! It was exactly like her, except she never ignores me! That was new! She hasn't said it yet but I know she loves me (or so I thought until recently). She doesn't talk a much. But when she does she means it. That was one of the qualities that drew me to her. She was never the talker but the doer.

But things had been different the past couple of weeks. She has been busy - She is always at a writer's workshop, meeting a publisher, having lunch with the editor, one thing or the other. Again that wasn't totally unusual. But she always met me, always picked my calls, always left me messages and never ever cancelled a date. Something was up I am sure of it. So I'm here at her place, on her couch, where we usually cuddle up and watch a movie or two (even though she absolutely despise them) on Fridays. Only today it was her book on her lap and not me.

'Is everything okay?' I ask her.

'yes' she answers - of course!

And then she tries to make a small talk (which she never does) and gradually turns back to her book. It was not rude, not really. She had read when I was at her apartment before, hell! she always does that! But then we wouldn't be sitting miles apart. She would cuddle up with me (and her book) on the couch , while I watched something on Netflix or read a book (I guess she has been rubbing off on me). But this was different! And then a forbidden thought crosses my mind, _Aubrey.._ The timing seems about right. Panic rises in my chest. But I push it to the bottom of my stomach and try to talk to her again.

'Sometimes I wonder if you date me for my grandfather's library. '

I (try to) joke.

She chuckles and looks at me. For a second there was smile on her face but then it fades. But instead of returning to her book, she closes it and put it down. And I know from her expression that she is going to talk. And I' m scared. I have a feeling I won't like this! And then she looks me in the eye.


	2. Broken hearts

**I don't own pitch perfect. It is owned by whoever owns it!**

Beca's POV

I look her in the eyes. The mood in the room have shifted. She is waiting.. Waiting for me to talk - to drop the bomb. She is looks uneasy (she should be)

And suddenly I'm angry. I don't know where it came from. I had been hiding - hiding for the past two weeks. Why the hell is it that I was the one hiding. I did nothing wrong! She is the one who broke my heart. She is the one who should be hiding. But then again I know exactly why I was hiding. I didn't want to face the reality. I was trying to outrun it. Maybe if I did, it would all go away, my heart would be full again. But I know that is not how things worked. The moment I see Chloe everything would be real. Everything and my shattered heart.

But more than anger it is pain. Pain that pierce my soul and make it hard to breathe.

It takes everything in me to not cry when I look at her. I had been exceptionally good at hiding my feelings but then again Chloe was an exception to that. (That was chloe - Beca's exception in everything.)

'Are you now competing with my books? '

I am half teasing and half angry (mostly angry, I guess)

'You seem too much in love with them to notice me these days.'

She tease me back (or tries to - it is a half hearted attempt)

I look her in the eyes again, I had never said _the words_ , I never said _I loved her_. I always thought she knew( and words never seemed enough.) But apparently she didn't .

'I love you way too much for you to ever have a competition, you know...'

My voice broke at this and I tried to keep it steady again. Chloe looks stunned. And then a small smile began at her lips.

'But I, foolhardy, enters the competitions I could never win.' I add

And the smile dies. Good.

'Bec.. What are you talking about?'

She is worried. I don't care. I won't care.

I take a deep breath.

'You remember three weeks back on 12th we had a lunch date but you cancelled last minute saying you had to meet your friends. '

She paled at this. I was hoping against hope that all my fears were in vain. But one look at her face and I knew. I felt my heart breaking once again. (if that was possible at all) I laugh bitterly.

'I was planning to ask you to move-in with me? it had been an year now. You know. '

Chloe gasped audibly and I couldn't hold my tears anymore. Chloe was also tearing up.

'I was so excited Chloe.. I was finally taking a chance.. Making a commitment.. I was making plans in my mind on how to surprise you even when I was talking with my editor .. Jesse even joked that I was acting like I was about to propose.. And guess what? here I was planning the surprise of the year in my head at Kelly's Diners and you bested me dear - as always. Only this time, I wish you hadn't.'

I stopped, it hurt to speak. And then continued.

' You were there too, with her - and gave me the surprise of the year. '

I was straight out crying now.

'Bec...' Chloe started.

'You cancelled our lunch to go out with her! And you lied about it. What am I supposed to think chloe? Don't.. Just Don't say anything. I wouldn't just jump into conclusions. I wouldn't insult you like that. I called you that night. You didn't pick. The next day I dropped by the office hoping to take you for lunch and talk. And I would have. I trusted you. I knew you would clear things up. But then again you weren't there when I arrived were you?'

I shook my head. Maybe if I shake enough it would all go away.

'You were again having lunch with her. And I waited. I waited a whole fucking week chloe!! And you said nothing. I asked how was your lunch with friends and you lied. What was I supposed to think? What am I supposed to think? You ignored me the whole week. And now you are here. What do you want Chloe? '

Chloe closed her eyes.

'Beca...I' m sorry.. I'm so sorry! '

'Sorry isn't enough chloe. Apparently I wasn't either. Then again I should have known. I never stood a chance against posen did I? '


	3. You are my home

**I don't own pitch perfect. It is owned by whoever owns** **it!**

Chloe's POV

I have seen Beca cry before. A good book could make her cry. A tragic movie (even if she acts like she hates it) can make her cry. When she is so happy that she can't speak I've seen her shed tears. But nothing ever compared to what I just saw, what I just did to her. It was over three weeks ago. I had almost forgotten about all of it. Aubrey was again just a history. But just how wrong I was.

I love this woman in front of me, with everything I have. And she thinks she isn't enough for me. How can she think that? Haven't I made it completely clear that I was in love with her. Haven't I said her I love you on a daily basis ( I used to joke I said enough for both of Us - she never said you know. And when she said it was to break my heart and hers too) Haven't I shown her enough. Maybe it was my love that was not enough. That made her to think I didn't love her.

'I love you Bec.. And only you. Never ever doubt that. Not Aubrey not anyone ever stand a chance against you.'

She is about to speak but I stop her rising my right palm.

'Let me finish bec, I love you and only you.. And I knew you love me too.. You are not - just enough, you are - more than enough. I know that more than anything in this world. But I' m your guilty. I made a mistake. And I am so so sorry. I shouldn't have even met her. But I just..' I falter.

'I used to be so in love with her Bec. And when she left she took all my trust with her. I never thought I could trust or love another soul. You know better than anyone how long it took me to get over her. And maybe that is why you think I still hold a torch for her. No Bec.. No I don't. There was a time when I would have done anything given anything for her. But that time is long gone. You came along and everything changed. You are the only one Becs.. You have been the only one for the past one year. I still love her. '

Beca looks away at this, but still doesn't say anything.

' But only as a memory. Only as something beautiful I had - though it hurt me in the end. It is the past Beca. _The past_. Now there is only you. No past or future can change that. All Aubrey ever will be is just my friend. She had always been one and that is all she ever will be. '

'You know.. I was excited to have lunch with you too. Though I had no idea you were planning to ask me to move in.' I sniff.

'It had been over a week, we hadn' t seen each other because I had a photoshoot. And I was missing you like crazy. I was hoping for movie night on your couch. But then she called, after almost 2 years of no contact. Part of me thought of not going. But then, I wanted to know what she wanted to talk about. And I should have told you, I would have but.. You hates her. I know you do. From the day I came knocking at your door brokenhearted after she left. You have hated her. I think you hating her that much for me helped me to forgive her a little bit. I don't know if that sounds twisted. ' I try to laugh (trying is all I can do today) was that a tug of smile at her lips. I don't know.

'I knew you would protest, so I just left making some excuse about having lunch with friends. And I met her. We talked. And she apologised for how she left. I said I couldn't just forgive her. I' ll think about it. '

Suddenly I was unsure. Maybe this was a bad idea. She may get angry even more. But I have to tell her. (that doesn't me it does not scare the crap out of me)

'We said good bye and then she kissed me. I had no idea she would do it. And I kisses her back.'

I looked at Beca, she is silent watching me. Her expression unreadable. I take a deep breath.

'I did that, I know I shouldn't have. I had no feelings for her. Nothing. It was like..Relieving an old memory.. At that moment I wasn't me.'

She still said nothing.

'I'm sorry.. Sorry isn't enough, I know. I was angry at myself for kissing her, I felt so guilty, that I couldn't stand to look at you. But I didn't know how to say this to you. I'm sorry I ignored you for that whole week. I' m sorry I kissed someone who wasn't you. And I'm so so so sorry I lied to you, hurt you. I'm so sorry Becs. But never doubt I love. I love you.'

There was a light in her eyes now. I hope that it is not my hopeful thinking.

'Why were you with her on the next afternoon.?'

'She visited me the next day in office. Asked if we could have lunch together. She said she was sorry for yesterday. She was going back to Atlanta and wanted to have one last lunch with me. And we went for the lunch. There was nothing else. We just talked. And I told her about us. She said _she is happy for us_. '

'I would have told you everything Bec - even though I was, I am, scared you would hate me. After you left for the workshop the day after, I couldn't really reach you.. You know..'

She is still silent.

'Say something... Please..'

'So you are not in love with her?'

'No'

'And you love me?'

'No, I love Elizabeth Gilbert! Of course I love you.'

And she smiles. The first full smile I ever got from her this entire day. And it melts my heart.

'So, will you forgive me?'

'If only you kiss me right now.'

And I rush into her arms and kiss her with all my love. And she chuckles when we pullback.

'Movie night, then?' she asks.

'Yesss'

'Which movie?'

'I can't think straight.' I wink at her.

'arghhh..'

'Stop being so dramatic. I know you love leyla.'

'No, I love you..' and she kiss me again. Maybe we won't be having a movie night tonight.


End file.
